Cut the BS: Why LinkedIn Makes Me Want to Scream (Sometimes)
Moving from Germany to Canada taught me a few things about job hunting here. Besides everyone telling me “the market sucks right now” (thanks, super helpful), I learned that networking isn’t just important — its an absolute must, if you want to get anywhere.
So, there I was, dragging myself onto LinkedIn because apparently that’s what professionals do here. For context: I’m the person who deleted Facebook ages ago, wouldn’t know what’s happening on Instagram if you paid me, and finds TikTok genuinely terrifying — adjusting to the LinkedIn ecosystem has not exactly been the most natural thing to do and after I got going, I was left with … questions.
1. What’s With the LinkedIn-Speak?
Look, I took that 2-hour UX research course too. Was it useful? Sure. Did it “revolutionize my entire approach to human-centered design and forever alter my professional trajectory”? Fudge no.
2. The Clone Army Problem
Here’s what really gets me: Everyone says you need to “stand out” on LinkedIn, so far so plausible. Yet somehow so many profiles look identical. Same buzzwords, same humble-brag posts, same “I’m honored to announce…” templates. It’s like there’s this unwritten rule that professional means boring.
Let me tell you why this bugs me so much, and why I think we need to stop writing like LinkedIn robots. Also don’t worry, this post isn’t just a rant. If you’re tired of me going off, feel free to skip to the last section, where I actually try to be part of the solution and offer a few approaches that might help us break free from this LinkedIn monotony.
The Secret Language of LinkedIn: Where Everything is AMAZING!!!
Ever notice how people on LinkedIn sound like they’re constantly having the best day of their lives? It’s scary. Just look at your feed for five minutes and TELL ME you can’t play LinkedIn Bingo with these gems:
- “THRILLED to announce…”
- “So EXCITED to share…”
- “Truly HONORED to be…”
- “GRATEFUL for this INCREDIBLE…”
It doesn’t matter if someone is announcing a major career move or sharing that their company that they just finished a 1-hour certificate course. Everything is thrilling, exciting, and life changing. But when everyone is thrilled and excited about everything all the time, it starts to feel dull and empty.
I struggled with this from the start. Coming from Germany, where professional communication tends to be more straightforward and less emotionally loaded, I found it jarring. Why did everyone on LinkedIn sound like they were constantly hyping everything up? It felt fake, but — and hear me out on this one — it was also contagious. You feel like you need to sound excited about everything because that’s what seems to get attention. But here’s the problem: the more we exaggerate, the less authentic we become.
If LinkedIn is supposed to be a platform where we can showcase our professional selves, shouldn’t we be speaking in our own voices? When we copy the same over-the-top language as everyone else, we end up sounding like bots — and it’s really hard to stand out when we’re all following the same script.
The Fear of Being Real on LinkedIn (or: Why We’re All Playing it Safe)
Still — we all do it. You see someone’s post blow up with likes and comments, and your first thought isn’t “good for them.” It’s more like “dang, what are they doing that I’m not?” Next thing you know, you’re copying their style because hey, if it works for them…
After all, that’s what we’re all here for, right? To get noticed, to connect, to stand out? But the irony* is pretty rich: We’re all so scared of being “unprofessional” that we end up sounding like corporate robots. Heaven forbid someone discovers we have a personality or — gasp — actually write the way we talk.
I’ll admit, I’ve been there. Sitting at my desk, staring at a draft post, wondering if it sounds “LinkedIn enough.” Should I throw in more buzzwords? Maybe add another “I’m humbled by…” somewhere? But you know what happened? The more I tried to sound like a “proper professional,” the more I felt like a fraud. And more importantly, the less I felt connected to the people who engaged with my posts. It’s hard to foster genuine connections when you’re communicating in a voice that doesn’t feel like your own.
LinkedIn’s Robot Army: When Networking Goes Full Black Mirror
Here’s where my concern peaked — and where things really started feeling dystopian: As if the templated language wasn’t bad enough, I discovered tools that help you automate your LinkedIn connections. These tools promise to grow your network by sending out connection requests and follow-up messages on your behalf, giving your recipient no clue that they’re talking to a bot with your profile picture (But the tool scans your LinkedIn Profile and all of your messages beforehand to match your tone, so its ok!).
Let me repeat that: there are tools designed to automate your personal connections on a professional networking platform. That’s where I had to draw the line.
To me, the idea of automating human interaction in this way feels fundamentally wrong. Networking, at its core, is about building relationships. And relationships are built on trust, genuine interaction, and personal connection. When we start outsourcing that to automation tools, we’re essentially removing the human element from a process that’s supposed to be all about human connection.
I understand that time is precious and that building a network takes effort. But using bots to send templated messages to potential connections? That’s not networking. That’s spam. That’s catfishing with a LinkedIn Premium subscription.
The really depressing part is that people actually use these tools. Because apparently, the secret to “professional networking” is… checks notes… lying to people about being a real person? At this point, how many of those “Great connecting with you!” messages in my inbox are actually coming from humans? Are you even real?
This whole thing feels like we’ve completely lost the plot. Remember when networking meant actually meeting people? Building real relationships? Now it’s just a numbers game — who can collect the most connections, real or fake.
Breaking Free: How to Actually Stand Out
So, how do we break free from this cycle of conformity, automation, and inauthenticity? How do we use LinkedIn as a tool for genuine connection without falling into the same tired patterns that make us all sound like bots? Here are a few ways I’ve found to keep my LinkedIn presence authentic, or at least I try:
1. Reject the BS Buzzwords
Please, for the love of all things professional, stop being “thrilled” about everything. Nobody’s buying it. If you actually landed your dream job, sure — be thrilled! But if you just finished a Zoom training, maybe dial it back to “it was pretty good” like a normal person would say.
2. Skip the Template
There’s no rule that says LinkedIn posts must follow the same formula. Start your posts differently — tell a story, ask a question, or share a lesson you’ve learned. By deviating from the expected format, I think you’re much more likely to get more attention and provoke more meaningful engagement. Why not try something wild, like… writing the way you actually talk?
3. Be Real and Vulnerable
In a sea of polished, hyper-professional posts, showing a little vulnerability can make all the difference. It’s okay to share challenges, mistakes, or uncertainties. Being real doesn’t mean being unprofessional — it means showing that you’re human, and that’s what people will connect with (Then again, there are people out there who post pictures of themselves crying to take this one to the extreme — Yeah, I don’t know about that one. “I’m so upset about being let go, better get my smartphone while the tears are still moist!”)
4. Don’t Automate Your Relationships
Whatever you do, avoid the temptation to automate your LinkedIn connections. It might seem like a shortcut to growing your network, but it’s not a sustainable way to build relationships. If you want to connect with someone, do it yourself. Send a personalized message. Show that you care about the person behind the profile, not just the connection count.
5. Quality Over Quantity
Not every career update needs to be shared with the world. Be selective about what you post, and make sure that what you do share carries real value. When you post with thought and purpose, people will start to recognize you as someone worth paying attention to.
6. 6. AI: Your Writing Buddy, Not Your Ghost Writer
I’m not going to tell you to not use AI, what am I crazy? But the best ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini and all those other tools can do for you, is to give you a starting point. Do yourself and everyone reading your posts the favour and apply some love to whatever the AI Tool gives you. Because we’re at this point now, where people can tell what’s AI and what isn’t.
And hey, if English isn’t your first language (like me) and your posts have a few grammar hiccups? Own it! I’d rather read something with character than another soulless AI masterpiece about “leveraging synergistic opportunities in the dynamic landscape of transformative journeys”
Reclaiming LinkedIn as a Space for Authenticity
LinkedIn has so much potential to be a place where professionals can connect, share, and learn from one another. But somewhere along the way, it’s turned into a platform where we all feel pressured to follow the same formula — using the same language, the same templates, and, in some cases, even the same automation tools.
The funny thing is, we all know it’s ridiculous. We roll our eyes at those impossibly polished posts. We groan at the humble-brags. We make fun of the “I’m blessed to announce…” templates. Yet most of us still play along because… well, that’s just how it’s done, right?
But here’s a crazy thought: What if we just… didn’t?
If you want to stand out on LinkedIn, the answer isn’t to play by the rules or mimic what everyone else is doing. It’s to reject the template. Speak in your own voice. Be real, be specific, and be human. Stop worrying about sounding “professional” and start focusing on sounding like yourself. Because, in a world where everyone is “thrilled” and “excited,” the person who speaks with authenticity and individuality is the one who will truly stand out.
And honestly, wouldn’t it be a relief to let go of the script and just be yourself?